I have this alter ego in my head (we all do) and she comments on pretty much everything I do. Her comments are usually negative, fear filled or just outright nasty. For example, the other day I was working on some new music and I decided that I would like to start sharing it with my followers.
The dialogue in my head went something like this:
Me: I’d really like to start sharing videos of me playing some of my songs with my followers on Instagram.
Alter Ego: Yeah that would be really fun BUT what would people think of you? Who gave you permission to do that? You’re not the best singer in the world and you haven’t played guitar, let alone played a show in ages! Your hair is really messy – someone will probably judge you. You don’t have the right clothes for it. Everyone is going to see this and judge you. Everyone will hate it. Or they’ll pretend to like it. You’re not good enough. You’re not pretty enough…. etc.
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All of us (unless you’re the Dalai Lama) have this negative alter ego in our minds and it LOVES to chip away at our hopes and dreams. Some of us have it under control but many of us (me included) have to learn how to rein it in and stop it from STOPPING US living our best lives.
So how do I put a lid on this alter ego? How do I stop my alter ego from controlling my life and stopping me doing all the things I really want to do?
Here is the biggest, juiciest piece of advice I’ve ever been given when it comes to pursing your dreams:
“If it is both TERRIFYING and AMAZING then you should definitely do it”
It is that. SIMPLE.
If that inner voice is telling you not to do something, that’s exactly what you SHOULD do. Do the exact opposite of what your alter ego says.
Here are some examples
+ I’m not as good as all the other applicants applying for this dream job so I shouldn’t bother submitting a resume. I won’t get it anyway.
What you should do: Submit your resume. (You ARE as good as the others).
+ I really want to start a blog but I’m not qualified yet, and people might judge my content.
What you should do: Start writing your blog anyway. (You bring your own authentic stamp to the blog. You can’t please everyone. Remember you can be the juiciest peach in the entire world and there will still be people who don’t like peaches 😉 )
+ I’d love to join the gym but I’d be going alone and I’m not as fit as everyone else so they might judge me.
What you should do: Join the gym and go to a class to meet some people. (So what if you aren’t as “fit” as everyone else? Put your hair in a bun and put your beastmode on. Everyone has to start somewhere).
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Once you start to become aware of that running commentary from your alter ego it will become extremely obvious each time it happens. Once you become aware of it you’ll be able to quickly SHIFT that negative talk to positive, ass-kicking talk. You’ll be able to deal with that alter ego like a BOSS!
Here is a shift that I experienced this week:
Alter Ego: I’d really love to do the Spring Challenge but I have no time, and all the people who have joined are cross fitters. I’ll never be as strong as them.
Shift: Whoa, I see what’s going on here! I’ll tell you what I don’t have time for: I don’t have time for negative inner talk! I am going to join the challenge and even though I am busy, I am doing the challenge because I want to be fit and energised.
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Remember I said the shift from negative to positive was simple. I didn’t say it was going to be super EASY.
In the beginning it will definitely be a little uncomfortable or down right SCARY. I guarantee there will be times where you will have a little freak out and second-guess yourself. However, if you want to live your ultimate dream life and do the stuff that you deep down want to do THEN you have got to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
It’s truly the only way!
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
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I’m super glad you’ve stopped by to read the blog. I love helping people glow and grow! Please keep commenting and sharing from your heart. I sincerely mean it!
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