A few weeks ago I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed and stressed out. I had a couple of people in my life who were going through some pretty full on situations and I was their support person (good friends help out their besties, right?) After a time though, I started to notice myself also STRESSED OUT! I was agitated, exhausted and really down on myself. I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so YUCK. Then it suddenly hit me: I had been unintentionally absorbing other people’s crap.
It is easy to take on other people’s emotions and make them our own. We are human beings full of energy. Some of us radiate positive vibes. Have you ever had a friend who just instantly makes you feel motivated, calm or good about yourself? Absorbing someone’s beautiful positive energy has a positive affect on your wellbeing.
Sometimes you hang out with someone who is having a hard time and they’ve unintentionally left you feeling blah. I call these people Energy Vampires because they (usually without meaning to) suck out all of your positive energy and leaving you feeling empty.
So how can we stop absorbing other people’s stress?
Put your own oxygen mask on first.
The first step is to put YOU first. Sure, it’s not easy. Society tends to sell the message that putting yourself first is selfish and greedy. Honestly, this perception is utterly ridiculous, untrue, and plain dangerous. You uplift others but uplifting yourself. If you are radiating beautiful positive energy it will have a positive affect on those around you. You are not selfish for putting YOU first.
Fill up your self-love tank
Make a list of activities that make YOUR mind, body and soul feel good. I called them Daily Non-Negotiables. Every day you look at the list and pick out one or two things you can do for yourself that fill up YOUR self-love tank. For me I have stuck my list of DNNs on the wall in my office where I can see it every day. Whenever I am feeling particularly stressed out I go through my list and look at what I am craving/really need.
Here are some of things on my Daily Non-Negotiables List
Mind: Read a chapter from one of my favorite books, meditate, check out a favorite blog, journal, do a brain dump, get outside in my garden
Body: work out, go for a walk, paint my toe nails, wash my hair, soak in the tub, stretch on my yoga mat.
Soul: Ring a girlfriend, make a strong cup of herbal tea and inhale, spend time with people who really love me, watch a funny movie, turn off the phone/internet.
Take a step back, baby.
Sometimes putting yourself first means taking time out from a situation/person that causes you the stress. It doesn’t mean you must cut them off completely or end a relationship entirely. It simply means taking a small step back and instilling a few boundaries between you and whatever is causing you stress so you can reenergise.
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I’m super glad you’ve stopped. I love helping people glow and grow! Please keep commenting and sharing from your heart.
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