Someone asked me the other day: What does Mamahood mean to you?
I’ve been a mama for eight months now.
It doesn’t seem like a long time, does it?
The days when the baby and I have slept are fantastic. When she plays happily at my bare feet while I get my jobs done I feel like I’m the serene earth mama I aspire to be.
On those days it feels like the past eight months have flashed by. Like a shooting star that lights up your face with complete amazement leaving you feeling tingly and alive.
Those days I think where on earth did the time go?
Other days (when the baby screeches like a banshee in a language I don’t speak) I count the minutes until my husband to comes home. I count the seconds until bedtime. The days when I silently bawl my eyes out in the shower because I can’t remember the last time I felt like MYSELF. Who was that well-rested, sexier, FUN girl? Where did she go?
Sometimes eight months feels like eighty-thousand years.
I never realized just how much Mamahood would change me. It seems ridiculous to think now but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Pregnancy is one thing but birthing a baby and keeping it alive (and thriving) is a whole other kettle of fish. It’s a kettle of piranhas. Hungry psycho flesh eating piranhas.
Don’t get me wrong; the changes have been mostly good. I’m far friendlier at 5 o’clock in the morning, my boobs are bigger (whoohoo!) and I now understand what it means to truly love someone whole-heartedly and unconditionally. Potential threats to my child’s wellbeing have enabled me move like a lightening speed super hero. Mosquitoes are no longer safe. If you threaten my baby I’ll flip you like a pancake mofo! I also now cry at the drop of a hat. Ducklings, puppies, sick kids on the TV, Master Chef… I cannot help it. Just wait until the next season of Offspring comes out. I’ll be a blubbering mess.
Having a baby changes your relationships. Nothing challenges a romantic relationship more than suddenly having to share your heart with two (or more) people. There is nothing like sleep deprivation, colic and crazy hormones to teach you patience, courage and respect for each other. You may not have wild sex anymore but the bond between each other is stronger.
Having a baby has made me mentally stronger too. My motto is that if I can push a big baby out of a very small space without drugs then I can do pretty much anything if I put my mind to it. I’ve heard of mamas lifting cars off their babies. This Mamahood thing is not to be sniffed at! I really think we should be treating ourselves like Amazonian queens due to the astounding things we are able to do with our uteruses. I have so much more respect for Mamas now including my own.
So I suppose Mamahood (for me) means CHANGE.
I’m a different person to the one who waddled through the doors of the hospital to the one that staggered out with a tiny baby in her arms. And yes, some of those changes have been hard to cope with. It is not always easy to accept change but Mamahood has enabled me to grow into my authentic self. I’m a better person because of my daughter and that’s something to celebrate!